Normally this is not the sort of post you would catch me putting up. Far from it. Matters of "affection" and "love" confuse me more than ever. Again I think I'm under qualified to write this sort of post since I've never been in a situation when I start developing a crush on any of my friends (impossible that is). But since I do happen to have jumped on the Blog-wagon, a friend of mine requested my views on this topic, and I got to work, trying to remember various incidences about those close to me. Friends, family,acquaintances. Even random people you hear about from guys who like to talk about such stuff.
And here comes my inference. Not good. Bad. Very bad. Don't go there. Ever. Of all the examples I thought of, none turned out well. Most ended up messing their friendship, a few still get along, barely, and a very selective number actually had the brains to let their close friend crushes remain crushes and got away with it all unscathed after the "I-have-a-crush-on-her" phase passed. Still, it left it's mark. The thought of possibility still lingers at some distance. Still in sight.
Don't EVER think of considering it. I've seen bros going "I love her dude" and then going full on with their charms and gifts which could have been used for stuff like purchasing a new PlayStation or maybe some other awesome gizmos. I remember this guy from a few years back. Had a HUGE crush on a girl in his class. Kept sending her anonymous gifts every other week with letters. She accepted those gifts and the "anonymous romantic" was the talk. The git then decided to disclose his identity to the girl who replied with a curt ,"I only like you as my friend. Lets stay that way."
Only one time I've seen a guy cry like that. It's not polite, but believe me, the situation was funny. Darn funny. Then later, this same git gets roughed up by a few other guys who had a crush on the same girl. More tears. A sad day for boys all over. We were around 15 then. Yeah. Lesson learnt.
See? Best stay away from such mess. I don't think he spoke to her much after that. The girl didn't seem care much either. Another example is in order. This one of a close friend. Brother like. This time at around 19 years of age. But this guy had brains. He gets invited to a college fest concert by a friend of his. Goes there. Enjoys.
Next day he sends me a text "Dude that girl was looking SO hot!". I was totally confused. She was supposed to be a person who he had recently befriended and ALREADY?! But since he did not want to loose her as a friend, he kept his distance. Smart move. Last I heard he was good friends with her. See? A little thought saved the day. But it was the SAME guy who went onto going steady with another friend he knew. Went on a few dates before she said she didn't want to meet him again. Guy was puzzled. Girl was a sort of a hag. Guy was sad. He was broken. Maybe even now after 6 months still is. Moral of the story : don't mix friendship and affection.
I don't think such things should be pushed. Things happen when they should. Friendship is bigger than anything. Why risk destroying something firm for something that might not exist? I can understand that thoughts can come into the head. We all feel after all. But maybe along friendship with girls is mistaken by most guys? Only experienced can tell and if you ask them, a "buzz off" is the general reply. No. I'm not stupid enough to ask something like that.
Lets all be smart about it. Friendship is the greatest bond. Unless you're sure of the other person's feelings, don't make a move. Drop hints at max. Subtly. Sounds like a bad advice, but then again, that's only my take on things. I've seen too many people get wasted to try anything of the sort. Gotta be cautious. Don't want to loose a friend do you?
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