Everybody have their phobias and everybody have their own ways of facing them. Some people find it difficult to face the crowds, some are afraid of heights, some afraid of silly cockroaches...the list is endless. There's apparently a word for a fear of being watched by ducks...from somewhere. It can't get any crazier than that. My predicament, is speaking to women. Hope you aren't amused by the fact here. It's a pretty sorry situation out here, and i know it might seem funny (I've had friends laughing their asses off at this), but it's a pretty serious topic. And if you face the same problem, read on. If you don't, well then i hope you enjoy it as much my friends have. I needed to get it out, so i am.
I honestly don't know where it all started. I remember not having any problems before. I think it started when i actually hit puberty. At the time, i neither bothered me nor anyone else. Life moved on without me feeling a need to speak to females. I generally don't go around chatting people up. Call me an introvert if you will, but i felt there was ever any need for me to speak to the girls in my school. All my friends were guys, and we mostly stuck to ourselves. Playing football, studying, hanging out etc. It wasn't until college that i started to feel the full implications of the thing. The reason for the sudden enlightenment? My roommates who seemed to notice my uncomfortable conversations with girls around me.
One such incident took place when i had to attend a seminar. One of my friends introduced me to a friend of his. The friend in question was a girl (no points for guessing earlier). The entire conversation was limited to one "hi" and a smile each. Lasted 2 seconds. After the seminar, my friend told me that for those 2 seconds, i had gone a deep shade of red. Something like a "cherry" i should quote. See? And apart from wondering WHY i was going red, there wasn't a stray thought going on inside my head. Honest.
Though this did trouble me, i set it aside as "not important". All was cool until 3 of my friends decided to bring up an intervention. Disaster. A long talk about how i should speak to every girl i see to overcome my "redness" to that it's about time i get a girlfriend. Some things i have excluded since they were sort of...lets say unpleasant and embarrassing. After all the goading, the discussion ended with one conclusion : I AM IMPOSSIBLE.
My argument was simple. When there's no NEED for communication, is it necessary? I think not. Anyway i still go cherry red and that is VERY embarrassing. If anybody has the same issues, then please share. If not, well not much there then. Not a very insightful entry this, just something personal about a boy with issues. I type to improve. Hopefully my next entry will be more....something. Can't think of the right word to save my life...until later then...
I honestly don't know where it all started. I remember not having any problems before. I think it started when i actually hit puberty. At the time, i neither bothered me nor anyone else. Life moved on without me feeling a need to speak to females. I generally don't go around chatting people up. Call me an introvert if you will, but i felt there was ever any need for me to speak to the girls in my school. All my friends were guys, and we mostly stuck to ourselves. Playing football, studying, hanging out etc. It wasn't until college that i started to feel the full implications of the thing. The reason for the sudden enlightenment? My roommates who seemed to notice my uncomfortable conversations with girls around me.
One such incident took place when i had to attend a seminar. One of my friends introduced me to a friend of his. The friend in question was a girl (no points for guessing earlier). The entire conversation was limited to one "hi" and a smile each. Lasted 2 seconds. After the seminar, my friend told me that for those 2 seconds, i had gone a deep shade of red. Something like a "cherry" i should quote. See? And apart from wondering WHY i was going red, there wasn't a stray thought going on inside my head. Honest.
Though this did trouble me, i set it aside as "not important". All was cool until 3 of my friends decided to bring up an intervention. Disaster. A long talk about how i should speak to every girl i see to overcome my "redness" to that it's about time i get a girlfriend. Some things i have excluded since they were sort of...lets say unpleasant and embarrassing. After all the goading, the discussion ended with one conclusion : I AM IMPOSSIBLE.
My argument was simple. When there's no NEED for communication, is it necessary? I think not. Anyway i still go cherry red and that is VERY embarrassing. If anybody has the same issues, then please share. If not, well not much there then. Not a very insightful entry this, just something personal about a boy with issues. I type to improve. Hopefully my next entry will be more....something. Can't think of the right word to save my life...until later then...
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